Sylvan: His Birth Story
He squats down, the blue dust pan in
hand and smashes it into the pile of dog hair, dirt and crushed
cheerios on the kitchen floor. Grinning he pushes the pile around
the floor as if saying: “look Mama, I am helping you.” Just a
few moments later he is sitting smack dab in the middle of the
kitchen table both hands in the pie pan filled with crushed corn chex
I am using to bread chicken legs. “Look Mama, I can help you”.
We begin our up and down ritual that consists of me setting him on
the ground and him climbing back up faster than I think should be
possible. I set him back down, hugging him close, not using my hands
because they are covered in raw chicken juice.
It almost seems impossible that Sylvan
was born just a little over a year ago. Last year, this fast as
lightning, climbing, running forward and gingerly stepping backward,
full of hugs and kisses snuggly little guy was a wrapped up little
cocoon hiding under my coat from winter snow.
Sylvan was born around 5:00 am the
morning after the Superbowl. The house at which we watched the game
was at the top of a steep driveway. After our car started sliding
back down the hill, Ivory and I piled out and walked up in the snow
while Adam backed the car down to a flat surface and parked. Briefly
I allowed myself to wonder what exactly would happen if I went into
labor and decided just not to worry. The Superbowl only being a
significant factor because watching it involved over indulging in
plates of delicious home made Mexican food, chips and salsa and giant
dips of guacamole and a super late bed time for Ivory.
As my due date approached I had grown
increasingly anxious. I had decided not to take any refresher child
birth courses, I was forced to stop going to my yoga class since every time my head even approached being lower than my stomach I had
horrible heart burn and my breathing exercises I had dedicatedly done
prior to Ivory's birth... well had not happened regularly since most
of my time was consumed by chasing around a two year old. The
confidence and trust in my body that I had gained after Ivory's birth
felt fragile. So instead I just gave myself the usual pep talk:
“I've done this. My body is made to do this.”
Around 2:30 in the morning I woke up,
got out of bed and turned the bathroom light on. I paced into the
living room, squatted in front of the furnace and waited for the
contractions to just go away, deliberating whether to wake Adam or to
call the midwife. Why wake everyone if this was a false call? I
woke Adam and he called the midwife. After a few questions to
which he had no good answers he handed the phone to me. My side of
the conversation went something like this: “My contractions started
10 minutes ago... hold on... okay, I had two since I started talking
to you... I am supposed to remind you I have quick labors.. We will
see you in 20 minutes.”
We pulled Ivory out of bed, grabbed
the bag I actually had packed this time, food out of the freezer and
drove across town. I remembered just how much I hated sitting in the
car while in labor. My feet pressing into the floor board, my body
willing itself into any position other than sitting. I was so
grateful for the completely deserted roads. We had never made it
across town so quickly. When we pulled into the parking lot, there
was our midwife, shoveling the drive and walk in anticipation of our
arrival.
It wasn't until the midwife checked me
that she grudgingly agreed that it looked like we were going to have
a baby tonight. The water started filling the tub in the birthing
room. Ivory climbed into it eagerly and splashed around while it
filled. I eyed it warily not sure if I wanted to get into the water
after all. It just looked so wet. Adam donned a pair of swim trunks
and I finally decided to get into the tub. The warm water surrounded
me and it was wet, but also utterly relaxing. Ivory poured water on
my back and when she got tired of it, she climbed out, put on dry
clothes and went out to play with a friend who had driven over to
watch her.
I toned my way through contractions,
relishing the opportunity to be an active participant in this birth
and cursing the Mexican food that was giving me a killer heart burn.
Ivory happened so fast, that I never actively pushed, but that is
another story for another day. When I felt that I was just
procrastinating, and that Adam and I were getting tired (of waiting
really) I gritted my teeth, pushed this baby into the world and
screamed in close succession. Adam leaned forward and exclaimed:
“It's a boy”. And then I had this tiny blue body laying on my
chest, turning just a little more red with every breath. Ivory came
back into the room and somewhere on the periphery of my vision
someone offered her the chance to cut the umbilical cord. She
declined, and so Adam cut him free of me.
A little while later, while food was
heating up in the kitchen, we all were cuddled in a giant bed, all of
us tired and serenely happy. This was briefly interrupted, when
Sylvan finally latched on and tired to nurse. Waves of nausea,
rather than pain exactly, washed over me and I quickly relented and
took the offered pain medication.
By the time the birth center opened
for it's daily business, our midwife had gone home to take a shower
and we were driving back across town in the busy morning traffic.
The drive home took forever, but as soon as we arrived home, we
bundled up in our winter coats and giddily walked across the
neighborhood showing our newest little addition to anyone who was
around. And then all four of us crashed on the bed.. well, Adam,
Ivory and Sylvan did. I extracted myself of the pile of bodies. I
couldn't sleep, although I have no recollection of what it is I did
instead.
Sylvan's first steps, his first word
(happy), his first tooth and his first birthday are all already behind us. He has grown
into a delightful little personality that is full of affection, humor
and perseverance. While I, at times grudgingly, drag myself out of bed
to change his diaper and pull him into bed with me in the middle of
the night, I also find myself already dreading the morning that his
warm little body is not curled into mine and we wake up in our
separate beds.
beautiful
ReplyDeleteHi Heidi, So wonderfully written, so special to have those memories written down. Sending all our love, Gillian, Enda and Matthew XXX
ReplyDeleteahhh!! Happy Birthday Silvan!
ReplyDeleteSo neat - Dave
ReplyDelete